Top 10 Ways to Help the Help not Hate Your Horse

And this time I mean it when I say I'll be better!

For the past few months, I've been working as a poop-shoveler at my barn. (I am up to 4 jobs.) It started as a favor as my BO needed someone, and then the money was nice and it got my butt to the barn at a reasonable hour (and not lazing around in bed), so I had more of my Saturday to ride.

Of the 70 horses there, for the winter 10 were stalled, and an additional 8 were pulled from pasture board and grained/supplemented/medicated as needed. Two people work 2-3 hrs in the morning.
Now it's warm and no horses are stalled so there's just 18 to be fed.

I have another list for owners: it's my Top 10 Ways to Help the Help not Hate Your Horse.

10) Give your horse a reasonably unique name. We have two Mollys. We have a Coda and a Dakota. There's Buck, Buck, and Buck. Only one of those is a buckskin. Brody and Brady, Ace and Ace. Don't do this. Generally there is little confusion, but the offhand "Oh, can you grab Molly while I prep this?" can result in either the geriatric mare or the yearling. The worst part is that the owner of the yearling changed her name from the very singular "Kiara" to "Molly" fully aware of the other mare's presence. Now I have to learn the horses' last names?!

9) Bag/prep your feed. For our supplemented horses it's all premixed and rationed in ziplocks. If you're paying the extra cash for the service, you might as well buy some supplements and give it. Our barn supplies the base grain, so make the extra effort and get your money's worth. Don't tell me I scoop too large, to small, or make me remember 18 recipes for breakfast. Likewise if you have multiple horses with different breakfasts, when you reuse bags don't have false names on them or I question my sanity.

8) Blankets: clean them, at least the clasps, occasionally. Yes, we get covered in poo by the end of chores but mining through turdsicles to get to a clasp is unpleasant at best. I HAVE had to use a hammer in the past. Also, teach your horse to be blanketed calmly. Label your blanket, and do not move it randomly. Size your horse properly. Otherwise the horse's current state of blanketdom may be considered "good enough" (within reason)

7) If your horse is not where I expect it to be, I may ask you a question. If you are riding said horse, and I tell you that he hasn't had breakfast and ask if you'd like to feed him before returning him to his pasture, do not look at me like I have multiple heads. I have no idea when you're planning on finishing, and don't want to keep checking every 5 mins waiting for his return to pasture.

6) On the same token if you're taking off with said horse, let someone know, BEFORE I go check the wooded area in the back of the pasture past the swampy spot with 3 other grain-faces wuffling in my ears wanting their turn!

5) Also if you know your horse is grained in the mornings and you see I'm graining horses, don't just feed your already-fed horse! I dont mind you disrupting my pattern, just let me know the game plan.

4) Make your horse happy. If your horse hates being stalled maybe just buy a super awesome blanket and leave him outside. If he hates his supplement and I have to mix it with molasses and cover it with a little grain to trick him, don't buy that kind next time (when there's equal alternatives).

3) Have your horse well halter-broke. He can go ahead and pretend he's never seen snow before, but not at the expense of trying to bowl me over. He shouldn't race me to his food. He should walk over a puddle, away from his friends, etc. Yes, I'll correct him, but at the same time this is not my job to turn this into a lesson opportunity.

2) If I use a whip, rope, stick etc, to shoo your precious poopykins, that is to be safe. My position makes them all view me as some sort of fantastic grain-pinata, and I need defense. I might have other chores in the pasture and not really want to be in the middle of a team huddle so that PITA alpha mare can come up behind and shock one or more of them into trampling me. So even having the sweetest cutest babies all ears at me is not enticing.

Same snotty mares are not allowed to crowd the gate waiting to take a nip at the horse I'm trying to get back in there before she's released. I had an incident where bitch mare would not let me return geriatric Molly to the pasture, so I got her back out and snuck her in the back gate to go find her friends. I had her in but couldn't turn my back or let go to latch the gate and couldn't let go of the gate to free her while Miss Bitch went chomp chomp chomp on the other side of her, out of my reach.

1) Gate manners. Teach them. This goes along with halter breaking. I turn around after going through a gate to latch it. I should not have to wrangle to not free the others.

My letter

My letter to my congressperson:

Let me first start by saying I've never written a congressperson before. However, two issues you are to vote on have actually moved me to do so: HR305 and HR503. I will try to be as brief as possible but cannot sacrifice completeness.

HR305 is the Horse Transportation Safety Act of 2009.

HR503 is to ban the export of American horses for slaughter.

I am a graduate student at the U of M in Comparative and Molecular Biosciences. My advisor works in the department of Animal Science. I have had to sacrifice animals for my research. I have no qualms about eating meat. I am not afraid to pet a cow intended for slaughter. I understand the delicate balance between humane treatment of animals and efficiency of agriculture as a business. Would I make changes? Yes, but I do understand.

There are tens of thousands of unwanted horses in America, just like dogs and cats. Unfortunately, people equate the very true "Horses are expensive" with "Horses are valuable". This is an unfair equivalent. Some horses have very high value (winning racehorses, horses with fantastic pedigrees, very well-trained horses), while others do not (losing racehorses, horses that have developed riding issues such as throwing riders, horses that have suffered injury from sport, horses that were never trained, "grade" or mixed-breed horses of unremarkable parentage, old horses). People who make the equation of horses being expensive to horses being valuable may breed thinking to gain money, and often breed poorly-marketable animals. The low-end horse market is simply flooded.

The American Association of Equine Practitioners estimates that the minimum yearly cost to care for a horse, not including veterinary and farrier expenses, is $1,895.

The market is so flooded I can go buy a trained, young, papered, healthy horse for under 3000, likely even under 2000. You can imagine how cheaply I could purchase one of lower quality than that. If I'm prepared to pay the 2000 a year to maintain a horse, why wouldn't I be willing to pay the very slight extra for a much higher quality animal? Why would I pay to keep something dangerous, or injured?

And thus, we have unwanted horses.

One would think a breeder would be particular about what they were breeding, worried they would have this financial, unsaleable burden. Well, they don't have to worry, thanks to American horse slaughter.

At hundreds of auction houses across the US, horses are auctioned to the highest bidder. Some are pleasure mounts, some are professional show horses, and some are unwanted for other various reasons. At many auction houses, there is someone known as a "kill buyer". He will buy any horse for about 300 dollars or under. He will smile at the seller. He will promise a good home. He will listen to the little girl selling her pet tell him what kinds of treats her pony likes. He will buy the broken down horses. He will respond to "free horse" ads. If you're very cool about it, you can buy one off him before leaving the auction house provided there's an instant profit for him.

These auction houses exist in Minnesota. I have watched several kill buyers argue over prices. They quote prices by the pound. The kill buyers in question have land in Kansas, where they fatten the horses up and ship them to Mexico. I knew the woman next to me at the auctionhouse. She was selling three horses. She had already bought two before hers were up on the auction block. She needed some better horses for her summer camp. She had a 3-horse trailer, those three were not coming home. I asked her if she would sell to kill buyers. She told me there is no slaughter anymore.

"Horses are shipped across the border to be slaughtered now. You can look at the Las Cruzes, NM report, at least a thousand per week," I told her. She didn't think it was possible. At one point the auctioneer, who liked to say where the horse was going after sold, joked when the kill buyer purchased one saying "This one's Mexico-bound ladies and gentlemen!" The kill buyer: the Auctioneer's son.

There are two main destinations for the slaughter-bound horse. Mexico and Canada, as you may guess. Horses are transported there, sometimes in what are called "double deckers," This being because they are two levels high. There is an internal ramp to the second level, which is narrow. They were designed for cattle. Horses are crammed in the tight trucks, and are often injured in various manners. They fight. Sometimes there are are foals in the same trucks. There was an accident that made the news when one was tipped over. Some surived- photos available http://www.kaufmanzoning.net/foiaphotos.html.

The horses are then slaughtered in manners differently than anticipated. In Canada it is captive-bolt, like cattle. The machines were designed for cattle, but are decent at rendering the animals brain-dead before rendering. In Mexico, at at least one slaughterhouse the horse is run down a chute, where it is stabbed in the neck (repeatedly, with an ordinary-looking knife), until the spinal cord is severed, and then rendered after falling. It is likely conscious. Both examples are readily available on youtube.

It is my personal opinion that horses are unsuitable animals for traditional slaughter. Horses are very reactive. Horses have very large nostrils, and very strong flight responses. Example: a horse tragically died in our arena of a twisted gut (colic). The horse was promptly removed. No blood was present, nor was this a lasting illness. The area was very well ventilated. I could smell nothing. Upon entering the arena a day later, my horse became wild with fright and unrideable. It took a full week. I have no doubt that horses entering a slaughterhouse are aware of their surroundings and to be frightened.

You would think, given the reasons above, that making transport conditions and slaughter like the above illegal would be an easy decision. Unfortunately, it is not.

Not all unwanted horses are sent to slaughter. Many are simply neglected. High hay prices (drought last year doubled them), failing economy (you know...), higher property taxes, and some do not have the transport to sell a horse, or think that it will pick up, or make excuses (such as old horses are skinny, mustangs don't have vets or farriers, I can breed her and sell the baby and make money, some trainer will want my bad horse as a project) and this causes the owners to retain horses they cannot afford. Neglect is common.

The American Association of Equine Practitioners, the American Quarter Horse Association (largest breed registry), and the American Veterinary Medical Association and various Rodeo associations are pro-slaughter. Their reasoning is not unfounded, but it is flawed. They say that without slaughter the value of all horses will drop, including the high quality ones and run the horse industries to the ground. Neglect will be everywhere. Unwanted horses accumulating like rabbits. They paint a picture of the kill buyer as a garbageman, cleaning up after everyone.

Yes, I believe that banning slaughter and slaughter-related methods of transport will lower horse values. But, not ALL horse values.

The bottom of the horse market is artificially high, which is what encourages the breeding and irresponsible ownership in the first place. This fattens the pockets of the breed registries (many slaughter-bound horses are registered, and more breeding makes more registration fees).

Yes, tough times are ahead for horses. However, the solution is not to enable this fingers-jammed-in-ears "I Don't see this" attitude behind breeding more horses, pretending the kill buyer is not sending them to slaughter, and pretending the slaughter is humane.

High-end horses are still expensive. There will always be sub-par offspring from even the best breeding stock to supply the average horse-owner. All of the cats at the Humane Society have not made purebred Ragdolls any less expensive. All the Labs available at the shelters do not make a trained hunting dog undervalued. The reasoning is greed.

I urge you to please vote to end this cruel practice. To affirm that Americans are not afraid of setting a higher standard. You may contact me if you would like to further discuss the issue.

Thank you for your time,

10 things....

Been a long time. I'll update on the Doop and myself in a bit.

Update: the appy in the below post is down to 200 dollars. Not surprising.


One thing I enjoy doing is watching Dumb Girlie Horsie movies. I know they're stupid, often insipid, and usually feature long shots of just horses running around for no reason. I'm not an idiot. I don't make my husband watch. Anyways, I thought I'd share the following:

The Top Ten Things I learned about Horses and the Horse World by watching Dumb Girlie Horsie Movies.

10) Horses make lots of noise. They're always whinnying and snorting. They rear a lot too to look majestic for you. It is not a sign of aggression.

9) Hay is soft and snuggly. It is always fun to snuggle up in a stall with a horse. They won't step on you. There is no poop. It disappears after a "chores" montage demonstrating responsibility.

8) The more people don't like you, the more horses will.

7) English is for snobby girls.

6)Horses are not tamed and broke by hours of training or require you to ever be authoritarian, you just give them treats until they like you and then they let you ride! Bonus if they're completely batshit crazy to everyone else- they just need the love a small angsty girl can give them.

5)Feel free to walk on any farm to work your wiles onto horse owners. Don't call.

4) Lessons are for suckers, you're a natural if you love horses enough.

3)Any horse can do anything if you just believe in them hard enough. Children are the best at spotting talent. The more people think it is rank and untalented, the more awesome that horse is furreals.

2)All the boundaries set by your parents, barn owners, or teachers are just to keep you from reaching the next level, because they don't believe in you. Prove them wrong.

1) There are thousands of washed-up ex-superstar trainers just waiting for a young girl's exuberance to break them out of their funk and launch the pair into super stardom!

Holiday shopping

Okay, so during my brief, free moments, I like to horse-shop. Much as a gardener is proud of and enjoys their personal creation, it's fun to look at other ones.

I'm not a fantasic judge, but certain thing still appeal to me.

I like to check out the ones in my market range, close enough to MN.

Here's one that struck my eye but not in an I want it kind of way. Now, please correct me if I'm wrong- I didn't think foals are supposed to be THIS skinny. Maybe it's just too new, or just of the variety I'm not used to. Or maybe this one's healthy but just very tucked up? $450

All their others seem plump enough. There is a special, as many of the horses are "as-is" meaning haven't had vet work! Don't worry, the incentive fund babies sure are registered.


http://www.dreamhorse.com/show_horse.php?form_horse_id=1324694

Going to their site is interesting. Don't worry, they also sell Railroad ties and highway cable. Apparently both are good for making fences !!!


Then I saw this one. I'll admit I love the coloring, and maybe if it lost some weight and built up some muscle... it'd be worth spending the 400 on. Normally I like my solid colors, but I've had an appy fetish lately. If I had a barn and money, I'd risk it. Rolly polly pony. 400 dollars.



http://www.dreamhorse.com/show_horse.php?form_horse_id=1226681



Finally I have three bargain-bin ponies I'd say are more likely worth the investment.

First is this one:



He's 399 dollars. Not broke, but just cute, 2 years old, and has a pedigree, is registered.
http://www.equine.com/horses-for-sale/horse-ad-705276.aspx?search_id=4cbc11a3-6217-4d78-9ead-b95a63bc17e0


This one just appeals to me. 500 dollars, cute, probably the first paint I've really liked, pedigree is full of point earners, even though they're halter.


Ad: Beautiful head, soft eye, huge hip, short back, straight legs, great feet and super disposition! Holly’s dam is a versatile mare who has earned 6 APHA Open Halter points, an APHA Grand Champion in Halter and 16 Pinto Halter points with very limited showing in 2003. She has also proven herself to be an athletic and willing partner under saddle. Her sire is Mainly Marty, a grullo son of Jacs Little Pine (NRHA earner of $55,000) by Hollywood Jac 86, out of Mainly Martha (NRHA earner of $22,000). Marty has produced foals that have earned AQHA points, NRHA money and NRHA Youth points. This filly should be able to handle any type of competition: APHA World Show - Solid Paint Bred, APHA Top Twenty, WSCA Championship Show, Snaffle Bit, 4-H, Trail or just be your Best Friend! Her price is a reflection of the current market. Don't miss a great opportunity to own a horse of this quality.







This last one is a retiree. Hanoverian trained in jumping and dressage, but they seem to be subtley recommening the end of a jumping career. That said it's a capable pleasure mount and still sound for dressage. Late teens. WANT!
600 dollars.
http://www.equine.com/horses-for-sale/horse-ad-670200.aspx?search_id=4cbc11a3-6217-4d78-9ead-b95a63bc17e0

Poor :\

Well, as a graduate student I've always been poor. However, my time as a grad student is ending with the new year, and so I'm about to be poorer. (Hopefully ending with a Masters degree I'm trying to eck out, but possibly not even). My priorities in life have changed: I don't want to do science all the time ever forever. I'm considering getting a real-person normal job, or becoming a high school teacher. The teaching position would allow me to still play with science (and ponies all summer!), but the normal job would pay more, especially over time. I do love teaching; I had wanted to become a professor at a small college but I can't get over this hurdle of being that dedicated to research during grad school, and the idea of chasing grants and papers for the rest of my life is..... tedious, as is moving all around for a job. I do still love science but I don't want to be a lab tech for 10 bucks an hour for the rest of my life either. I can tolerate teenage exuberance well, but licensing requirements are midly obnoxious and may take a bit of time anyways to obtain.

So yes, I can relate to all the heartbroken people I see who in financial times cannot keep their horses. One must give up luxuries in hard times.

I would like to affirm that I am prepared for harder times. This is how:

1) Dante has always been paid for out of my secret second job. I work two days a week at Blockbuster, 6-12am, and his board is 210 a month. That's about maybe 30 hours of work per month, and at 12 hrs a week, this is easily covered in 3 weeks, with the extra money taking an edge off vet/farrier costs. This doesn't intrude on a normal 9-5 work day for me. His feet are thankfully pretty easy and slow-growing, and I give my own vaccinations (he gets just about all of them available). His teeth haven't needed to be floated yet (he eats fine, too trust me!- I made the vet check each time), and since I kept him all summer for under 200 dollars (excl. farrier) by letting him munch at my in-laws, he can be a cheap horse. I don't show, well okay my showing costs were 16 dollars this year! (15 for the fun show with a dollar for the ride-a-buck event). I did spend money on building supplies for saddle stands and cavalettis (which need buildin), and I did buy Truck. These were all extras with money I had from BB.

2) If my hard times get really hard- I have the following option: I can bring him to my in-laws, buy hay, and wait till it warms up and give him the winter off (MN is frickin cold to ride outside, and often dark, and other than practicing some yeilds in a barn the size of a round pen.... eh). I can always borrow a horse for free where I'm at now and keep up my skills, Dante will not forget everything by waiting a few months.

3)I have paid for Dante's board through to January. I have the next month's cash ready to be given to keep him through to February. He has not damaged his blanket.

4) Were there some sort of colic-emergency type thing: I have credit. Veterinary stuff is not to be skimped. Ever. Nor is farrier work. Our tack is all manageable, if something broke I could borrow. Truck can break, car can break, I'm okay. I also own half of my brother's house, and he's getting antsy to buy me out so if I need money for a while I have that option.

5) All of this does not involve my husband's income, which is steady. However I generally support myself- we don't fight over money. Grad students only make 20K a year where I am, so nearly any full time job will more than compensate what I was at.

6) I can if spending a period of time unemployed, work at the farm for 10/hr and apply that directly to board.


I do not have the option of leasing him out. He failed at that. I could to the right person, but do not want to deal with such worries.

So maybe I will be on a Ramen/multivitamin diet, but he's all set!

Cowhorse :)

Friday night we decided to play cowhorse. Sarah and I dragged a cow from the pen to the indoor arena (fat little bugger). We then got Dante and a horse I had once done team penning on (slowly and rather poorly for fun) as we knew that horse wouldn't flip out over cows, and was a former pasturemate of Dante.

As soon as we got in there, Dante's eyes were only for that cow. We let the two of them run loose with it, and as soon as we did it was farting bucking fun down the arena at the cow. They were EXCITED!

They then proceeded to gang up on the cow and chase it around for a while (we wanted them to work out any uneasiness or extreme excitement before getting ON them!). Then while the cow hid in the corner I tied Dante and picked feet, groomed, saddled etc. His head was yanked around and he would not stop staring at the cow.

I did cheat and give him a handful of grain to distract him for saddling. Yes I know there's better ways to desensitize and we work on it all the time. His saddles DO fit, he's not tender afterwards, etc. He just learned it hurts and won't forget anytime soon. Maybe someday.

I got on and man was he dancey. I decided to trot some circles away from the cow and ended up having to hop off and remount (Rebooting Dante is realy that easy, it's a mental reboot for the both of us I think). We then played with cow.

I had a blast. Not only does Dante know what to do with a cow, he likes it. I think he was mad that I didn't know what to do with a cow. Having been busy by studies and work I didn't push too much learning on his part. I tried to get him to sidepass (something we can do normally) and was very adamant that cowhorses do not sidepass and not only was I being silly but cruel and how could he possibly be expected to know these things? We did a weenie bit of cantering, mainly after the cow and there was no flip-outs. Afterwards his trot was gaining little hops as he was encourageing me to cut him loose, but I wanted to keep this a pleasureable ride and fun time for the both of us since it's been a while.

I know the pics are horrible but what do you expect from a phone at a distance in an arena at night?

Eventually the cow (as it did when I 'halterbroke' it a couple weeks ago) decided to lay down and not run around, even when Dante kicked it. Lazy little bugger. After a few rousings we let him go back to his friends. I bet he won't let me halter him again. :)

We'll have to do an open team penning. I think he'd love it. He should have gotten in the trailer last time and I wouldn't have had to ride Jack instead. :)

Thrown :(

Okay, so that's not me. I wasn't prepared to get that photo.

First off: the Doop moved back to the boarding barn for winter, and I've been super busy with school. Loading was good, and in our OWN trailer, which is a plus.

We were riding around in the indoor arena, I had another rider check him out, and she was cantering him around and he was fine, albeit she could tell he was very tense.

Later I end up in the outdoor arena, and he's being soo good (even windy out) that when she suggests I canter him, I quiet that sniggling voice that says "bad idea" and go.

4 strides later: dirt.

I landed about like photo person, on by back fat. Dante stood perfectly still with an "oh NOES!" look on his face. We rode around for a while but I wasn't about to push it again.

Saving some pennies to buy him some training to make cantering not worth tensing over. I may have fixed his trot on my own, but I was comfortable trotting before he was. I think I'd trust him in the indoor, we will likely try more short bits of canter until he's comfortable doing it. We did in the beginning of the summer, I'd canter him up a small hill (since he couldn't do that very quickly anyways it was less stress).

I still think he tries too hard and gets flustered. Whether it's because he really wants to please me or because he thinks I'll beat him like some other lady did, I don't know.